So many people are concerned with looking weak in our society. They’re afraid of looking spineless, of showing their vulnerabilities, of crying at funerals, of embracing a significant other in a public place, or even feeling something that evokes “weakness.”
The way I’ve always understood it, taking into account the dictionary definition of weakness (basically just a flaw or weak point), the perception of weakness really goes back to how people will define strength. Both these things can have varying definitions to many different kinds of people. Too often, I’ve seen strength in men defined as someone so bubbled over with hormones that they’re ready to snap someone’s neck at a moment’s notice. It’s reliant on brutality over intellect, on anger over kindness, and on limited signals of intimacy or human vulnerability.
Now, I’m not trying to take away from the importance of physical stature. As human beings, we’re meant to take care of ourselves to a certain degree, instead of sitting lazily on a couch watching American Idol reruns with our hands in a greasy bag of Ruffles. All I’m saying is, how often is the brain neglected over the body? How often do people try to learn a thing or two every day, instead of remaining reliant on ignorance, which will create anger at things they don’t understand?
To put it simply, more often than not it seems like some peoples’ perceptions of strength falls into many peoples’ conceptions of stupidity. Take this guy I know: he’s so reliant on being perceived as a bad ass, willfully taking time to make sure his photos show him flipping off a camera and gloating about his “ability” (though I’d call it more of a handicap) to “not give a fuck about anyone” that he is probably one of the most ignorant, self-centered, idiotic bastards I’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing. He’s not interesting on any level, because you can guess that his responses to any questions will range about an inept anecdote about guns or “tits” and is only interested in talking about movies with high body counts (He probably holds House of 1000 Corpses in the same regard as film buffs regard Citizen Kane.)
Yet, people perceive him as “strong.” The lower levels of society will no doubt reward him for his bravado, while in the end he probably won’t make anything of himself.
Strength to me comes from the heart. Strength to me is the ability to be a big man and tell someone you love them. Strength is having the courage to cry, to express how you feel. Strength is accepting your human vulnerability and making no bones about it, everyone feels the way you feel. It’s part of what unites us as human beings.
Strength is honesty, telling the truth when a lie would serve you better. Strength is refusing to hide behind a stereotype or a label and creating your own niche, regardless of what other people think of it. Strength is being smart, and not feeling like you have to hide it. Strength is NOT settling for what other people tell you may be right, when you know in your heart that it’s not.
Strength is compassion, in a world becoming ever crueler, offering a hand, even if it’s slapped away. Strength is brave, knowing when to be scared but not letting fear stop you.
These are the things that measure the value of a human being. Not how easy it is to knock them out, not having an arsenal of put-downs at your disposal, and not trying to act like nothing in the world could ever surprise or harm you.
Strength is having the courage to be a good person and knowing it. Please don’t settle for anything less. This is far from a demand, this is my appeal.
Be a good person. They’re the strongest of us all.
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